Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Weightlifting Life

I feel like I have just about a 500lb boulder on my back! Life right now if VERY HEAVY!!

St. Anne pray for me! I don't know that St. Anne is the patron saint of STRESSED OUT, but I love her and she has been so good to me.

So I have been absent from this blog - not sure at this point if anyone is reading it though. I think it's more of a help to me to just get my thoughts on track. Plus a lot has happened over the last few weeks.

I'm back in SoCal for my last trip to see my DH before he deploys. If that wasn't enough stress, I met with the surgeon last week, and he wants me to go for a trifecta - three procedures in one! One would be just a scouting mission to make sure everything is good with my uterus. Then one would be an endometriosis removal surgery with the final one being an ovarian wedge. AHHH!!!

I'm not even sure where to start, so let's just jump in with what I'm most nervous about - the ovarian wedge. So when I met with my NaPro surgeon my husband was able to video chat with us during the consult. What an unexpected blessing! I had a hard time concentrating on what the Doctor was saying due to the images he was showing. I realized I have a weak stomach when it comes to surgical images.

Luckily for me, WebMD had this link. Basically my body should be able to ovulate on it's own after this surgery. We will have roughly 8 months before DH returns, so that gives me plenty of time to have the surgery and heal.

Since I'm out in SoCal with him, I arrived on P+1. Having met with the surgeon before I came out here, I know I had a nice follicle that was ready to burst the day before I came out to SoCal. Fingers crossed! I will be able to take a HPT before he goes, so we will atleast know where we stand. If I end up staring a new cycle, we already decided I would go forward with the endo and wedge surgery. There is some other irons in the fire, but I'm not really ready to talk about that yet! That will have to come in the next blog. Exciting hook - right?

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Calendar Mixup and Charting

So as a new cycle started, things continue to chug along. It's kind of sad that a new cycle started, but like I said in my last post, I didn't even expect to be pregnant. We missed pretty much any chance last cycle, and this one doesn't look any more lucky since I won't be out in California until days after potential peak day. But such is the life of a sailor's wife!

One thing that did work to my advantage..and my surprise! I had a work thing come up for March, which happened to be the same date as the appointment I had scheduled with the surgeon to talk about my endometriosis. I called to reschedule and there was a mix-up when the appointment was made and it was actually made for Feburary 12th instead of March 12th, so score! I get to go see him a month sooner.

So when I first started seeing Dr. J, my NaPro doctor, it was about 6 months prior to our wedding. It was recommended to us by our priest, who happens to be a very good friend of mine! DH and I started out on the Creighton Model charting. It was an interesting dynamic for our relationship. Especially for me. I never never was comfortable talking about sex openly or sexual humor. Talk about tight laced, right?! Now here I am talking about it on a blog.....

It was discovered early on through the various ultrasounds that I did have some endometriosis. I'm very lucky that I've never really had painful periods, a tell-tale sign of endo. Over the last almost two years, my cycles have leveled off and become quite healthy looking. My doctor is happy with that aspect I suppose, and it's good to remind myself that things have been evolving for me. It's hard to keep positive and see the upside of things when the whole point is to have a little baby, and that just hasn't happened (to term) yet for us.

So some key ideas and terms that go with this Creighton charting:

1. Observations - These are done routinely, before and after anything involving your body - haha. Before anything in the bathroom basically - toilet, shower..

2. Fertile Days: Believe it or not, that includes period days, then during observations you can see/feel fertile times. If there is lubrication (aka a slippery wipe) it would be a fertile day. If there is mucus on the toilet tissue, that would be fertile days too.

The level of fertility that is the highest is when it's clear, stretchy and lubricative. The last day that you have those three things in one single observation - that would be peak day!

You're considered fertile for three days post peak - referred to as P+1, P+2 and P+3.

3. All other days (if there is no lubrication or mucus) they are just regular days. They can be dry, wet or shiny based on any observations you may have.

Those are the basics. So now I can tell you, I won't see DH until at least P+3 based on the current cycle trend I have been going through.

This post has been informative, but a big yawn in the excitement department. Sorry about that! Not every blog can be amazing - haha. I'll try to work on my pizzaz for the next one :-)

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Unintentional sting

So, I'm back from the left coast. Kinda depressing being back in the snow covered NJ. The winter is such a low time for everything, but the low temperatures are the worst. To add insult to injury, after leaving sunny California I landed back in NJ and had to de-ice, de-snow and somehow break through the massive encrustation of muck to get into my car. I managed to cut my hand on the ice - ouch!

My husband was VERY happy to see me! Hooray! We even got to spend one whole day together! A day off has been rare for him. Sunday was his first day off in three weeks! We went to mass, breakfast, a beautiful hike in Torrey Pines...it was an absolutely perfect day....

I managed to make it home with no problems. I grabbed some soup out of the freezer and stuck it in the microwave while I quickly unpacked some of my stuff - comprising of several bottles of medication. Progesterone, glumetza, and letrozole (just in case I got stuck in CA longer than planned!) It's funny how things like medication start to make you feel defined, or forced into some crazy hole. I had to have my progesterone called into a pharmacy in CA. When the pharmacist asked if I was on any other medication so she could make sure there wouldn't be any conflict, I told her glumetza.....she then proceeded to talk to me for 5 minutes about how diabetes can be handled with diet and exercise. Thanks, lady......I already have a no carb diet and I work out 5 days a week....my A1C also is in fine shape - so thanks......I'm not diabetic. I'm trying to make a baby, yo!

Once I finally made it to the couch, I saw I had an e-mail from my NaPro Doctor....I had gone for blood work while I was in California since my flight was delayed...twice! I called the office and they sent me over a script for the blood work, and off I charged with two different scrips in hand. Coincidentally I have my endo this week also, so it lined up to have that, plus my P+7 bloodwork done (I should do a post on what the lingo I've learned so far actually means when it comes to NaPro and Creighton Model)

Anyway, I opened the e-mail from my Doc, and it said "labs negative for pregnancy - see attached"...I didn't even realize HCG was on the lab slip e-mailed to me, but it was. I didn't even think I was pregnant....I wasn't even with my husband to try during the fertile window. But it stung reading those words. In my head it was coming across as "FAILURE FOR PREGNANCY!" which I know is completely unreasonable. It may have been just because I was exhausted from a day of travel and running through the airport to catch a connection home, but my heart hurt getting that e-mail.

I guess this is kind of par for the course when it comes to IF....we want so badly to be parents. Under normal circumstances, I'm stalking my chart and just waiting for the first day I can take a home pregnancy test (HPT) just to get a negative. This time, it wasn't even on my radar since my DH and I haven't even been together since New Years! It kind of stung....I don't know that it will ever be OK hearing that I'm not pregnant....but this time was weird, because we weren't even available to try!