So March is almost over, that will mark the first month down. It's been really rough since DH went overseas. We have gotten to e-mail pretty regularly, and we use Google Chat (instant message) a few times a week. We have gotten to talk on the phone twice since he's been over there, so it's in some ways not as bad as I thought. In other ways it is harder.
It's taken me a while to kind of get in touch with the fact that I feel like those scenes in the movies when one main point freezes, and everything else is spinning and whirling all around. I feel frozen and time is still passing. Life goes on, but I'm frozen in place! It's a weird feeling. This is the temporary normal. I'm so thankful it's temporary!
Lets change gears before I get too emotional....I booked my three surgeries. They are all going to be in one shot - the endo removal, the selective HSG and the ovarian wedge. They will be in May (hopefully). It's at least things I can do to get myself ready for DH return. It's so weird to think I will be 35 by the time we are able to try again for a baby. That means I'll be near 36 if we are successful right away. Where did the years go?
So I've been working like crazy on this tricky tray for DH motorcycle club. I really want it to be a success for multiple reasons, but mostly because he isn't here. I want to represent him well and have it be a successful event for him and the club. They are so generous and they donate 100% of their proceeds to the cause each year that they support.
I felt like I had a lot to blog about. My brain is so full carrying around this deployment. I'll try to focus more next time and come up with some more to blog about, I know there is more in there!
Showing posts with label fertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fertility. Show all posts
Monday, March 30, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Weightlifting Life
I feel like I have just about a 500lb boulder on my back! Life right now if VERY HEAVY!!
St. Anne pray for me! I don't know that St. Anne is the patron saint of STRESSED OUT, but I love her and she has been so good to me.
So I have been absent from this blog - not sure at this point if anyone is reading it though. I think it's more of a help to me to just get my thoughts on track. Plus a lot has happened over the last few weeks.
I'm back in SoCal for my last trip to see my DH before he deploys. If that wasn't enough stress, I met with the surgeon last week, and he wants me to go for a trifecta - three procedures in one! One would be just a scouting mission to make sure everything is good with my uterus. Then one would be an endometriosis removal surgery with the final one being an ovarian wedge. AHHH!!!
I'm not even sure where to start, so let's just jump in with what I'm most nervous about - the ovarian wedge. So when I met with my NaPro surgeon my husband was able to video chat with us during the consult. What an unexpected blessing! I had a hard time concentrating on what the Doctor was saying due to the images he was showing. I realized I have a weak stomach when it comes to surgical images.
Luckily for me, WebMD had this link. Basically my body should be able to ovulate on it's own after this surgery. We will have roughly 8 months before DH returns, so that gives me plenty of time to have the surgery and heal.
Since I'm out in SoCal with him, I arrived on P+1. Having met with the surgeon before I came out here, I know I had a nice follicle that was ready to burst the day before I came out to SoCal. Fingers crossed! I will be able to take a HPT before he goes, so we will atleast know where we stand. If I end up staring a new cycle, we already decided I would go forward with the endo and wedge surgery. There is some other irons in the fire, but I'm not really ready to talk about that yet! That will have to come in the next blog. Exciting hook - right?
St. Anne pray for me! I don't know that St. Anne is the patron saint of STRESSED OUT, but I love her and she has been so good to me.
So I have been absent from this blog - not sure at this point if anyone is reading it though. I think it's more of a help to me to just get my thoughts on track. Plus a lot has happened over the last few weeks.
I'm back in SoCal for my last trip to see my DH before he deploys. If that wasn't enough stress, I met with the surgeon last week, and he wants me to go for a trifecta - three procedures in one! One would be just a scouting mission to make sure everything is good with my uterus. Then one would be an endometriosis removal surgery with the final one being an ovarian wedge. AHHH!!!
I'm not even sure where to start, so let's just jump in with what I'm most nervous about - the ovarian wedge. So when I met with my NaPro surgeon my husband was able to video chat with us during the consult. What an unexpected blessing! I had a hard time concentrating on what the Doctor was saying due to the images he was showing. I realized I have a weak stomach when it comes to surgical images.
Luckily for me, WebMD had this link. Basically my body should be able to ovulate on it's own after this surgery. We will have roughly 8 months before DH returns, so that gives me plenty of time to have the surgery and heal.
Since I'm out in SoCal with him, I arrived on P+1. Having met with the surgeon before I came out here, I know I had a nice follicle that was ready to burst the day before I came out to SoCal. Fingers crossed! I will be able to take a HPT before he goes, so we will atleast know where we stand. If I end up staring a new cycle, we already decided I would go forward with the endo and wedge surgery. There is some other irons in the fire, but I'm not really ready to talk about that yet! That will have to come in the next blog. Exciting hook - right?
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Calendar Mixup and Charting
So as a new cycle started, things continue to chug along. It's kind of sad that a new cycle started, but like I said in my last post, I didn't even expect to be pregnant. We missed pretty much any chance last cycle, and this one doesn't look any more lucky since I won't be out in California until days after potential peak day. But such is the life of a sailor's wife!
One thing that did work to my advantage..and my surprise! I had a work thing come up for March, which happened to be the same date as the appointment I had scheduled with the surgeon to talk about my endometriosis. I called to reschedule and there was a mix-up when the appointment was made and it was actually made for Feburary 12th instead of March 12th, so score! I get to go see him a month sooner.
So when I first started seeing Dr. J, my NaPro doctor, it was about 6 months prior to our wedding. It was recommended to us by our priest, who happens to be a very good friend of mine! DH and I started out on the Creighton Model charting. It was an interesting dynamic for our relationship. Especially for me. I never never was comfortable talking about sex openly or sexual humor. Talk about tight laced, right?! Now here I am talking about it on a blog.....
It was discovered early on through the various ultrasounds that I did have some endometriosis. I'm very lucky that I've never really had painful periods, a tell-tale sign of endo. Over the last almost two years, my cycles have leveled off and become quite healthy looking. My doctor is happy with that aspect I suppose, and it's good to remind myself that things have been evolving for me. It's hard to keep positive and see the upside of things when the whole point is to have a little baby, and that just hasn't happened (to term) yet for us.
So some key ideas and terms that go with this Creighton charting:
1. Observations - These are done routinely, before and after anything involving your body - haha. Before anything in the bathroom basically - toilet, shower..
2. Fertile Days: Believe it or not, that includes period days, then during observations you can see/feel fertile times. If there is lubrication (aka a slippery wipe) it would be a fertile day. If there is mucus on the toilet tissue, that would be fertile days too.
The level of fertility that is the highest is when it's clear, stretchy and lubricative. The last day that you have those three things in one single observation - that would be peak day!
You're considered fertile for three days post peak - referred to as P+1, P+2 and P+3.
3. All other days (if there is no lubrication or mucus) they are just regular days. They can be dry, wet or shiny based on any observations you may have.
Those are the basics. So now I can tell you, I won't see DH until at least P+3 based on the current cycle trend I have been going through.
This post has been informative, but a big yawn in the excitement department. Sorry about that! Not every blog can be amazing - haha. I'll try to work on my pizzaz for the next one :-)
One thing that did work to my advantage..and my surprise! I had a work thing come up for March, which happened to be the same date as the appointment I had scheduled with the surgeon to talk about my endometriosis. I called to reschedule and there was a mix-up when the appointment was made and it was actually made for Feburary 12th instead of March 12th, so score! I get to go see him a month sooner.
So when I first started seeing Dr. J, my NaPro doctor, it was about 6 months prior to our wedding. It was recommended to us by our priest, who happens to be a very good friend of mine! DH and I started out on the Creighton Model charting. It was an interesting dynamic for our relationship. Especially for me. I never never was comfortable talking about sex openly or sexual humor. Talk about tight laced, right?! Now here I am talking about it on a blog.....
It was discovered early on through the various ultrasounds that I did have some endometriosis. I'm very lucky that I've never really had painful periods, a tell-tale sign of endo. Over the last almost two years, my cycles have leveled off and become quite healthy looking. My doctor is happy with that aspect I suppose, and it's good to remind myself that things have been evolving for me. It's hard to keep positive and see the upside of things when the whole point is to have a little baby, and that just hasn't happened (to term) yet for us.
So some key ideas and terms that go with this Creighton charting:
1. Observations - These are done routinely, before and after anything involving your body - haha. Before anything in the bathroom basically - toilet, shower..
2. Fertile Days: Believe it or not, that includes period days, then during observations you can see/feel fertile times. If there is lubrication (aka a slippery wipe) it would be a fertile day. If there is mucus on the toilet tissue, that would be fertile days too.
The level of fertility that is the highest is when it's clear, stretchy and lubricative. The last day that you have those three things in one single observation - that would be peak day!
You're considered fertile for three days post peak - referred to as P+1, P+2 and P+3.
3. All other days (if there is no lubrication or mucus) they are just regular days. They can be dry, wet or shiny based on any observations you may have.
Those are the basics. So now I can tell you, I won't see DH until at least P+3 based on the current cycle trend I have been going through.
This post has been informative, but a big yawn in the excitement department. Sorry about that! Not every blog can be amazing - haha. I'll try to work on my pizzaz for the next one :-)
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Great to meetcha....
So I found myself with some extra time - I have a lot of that these days. I thought I would introduce you a little more to my life.
There are two big parts of my life as it currently rolls, and that's being a wife and a military spouse. Both are big changes from what I was used to! Might as well introduce you to the man who changed my whole life, right? DH and I met on September 11, 2012 on none other than match.com. There were A LOT of bad dates I had to endure before I finally met the one. Both from online dating and just regular life (you know, blind dates, speed dating, etc...) I knew things with him were different pretty early on - we endured hurricane Sandy together and the way he treated me, took care of me, was so aware and in tune to my fears and really went over and above what I would expect out of a new relationship. No wonder he is still around! He treats me with the same respect, genuine concern and love that he did when we first met and started dating.
So the story he tells of when he "fell in love"with me was Christmas 2012. He was working ovenights at his job at the time and had to work Christmas eve AND Christmas day! How awful...he claims the money was worth it, but the jury is still out on that one. Since he was working (he worked at the airport) all night, I wasn't going to miss my chance to have a Christmas dinner with my new beau. So I cooked up pounds and pounds of chicken legs, vegetables and baked easily 4 dozen cookies of all variety types and sizes. I packed up place settings of glass dishes, silverware and placemats and headed to meet him for dinner. There we sat, in baggage claim outside Dunkin Donuts, having our Christmas dinner. That is when he said he knew I was a keeper!
We had only been dating 3 months at that point, but in January 2013 he bought a ring. He worked millions of hours and I had no idea why. He set a goal to pay the ring off before he talked to my Dad. How sweet! So March 8, 2013 he proposed to me! The timing was crazy because at about 9am March 9th I headed to a 10 day vacation in Hawaii I had booked with one of my girlfriends. (Side note: the trip was booked because we weren't going to wait for Mr. Right......I booked it 3 weeks before I met DH).
Once back from Hawaii, we went high gear planning for the wedding! We did precana and all our marriage prep and managed to pull of an October wedding. What a whirlwind! We knew eachother for 13 months on the day of our wedding. And here we are, in year 2 of our marriage. I always wanted to be a wife and mother. So far, the wife part is going great! I miss him a lot more then I thought was imaginable. I am so immensely proud of him serving our country and keeping us safe so I can sit here and blog while he is working in some desert.
We started NaPro and Creighton Model charting before we were married. It's been an up and down roller coaster going through trying to conceive, and now even adding the deployment. We tried up until the last minute that we could. We were almost there....In the fall we found we had a positive home pregnancy test. For 6 weeks I was a mom to a perfect little angel. Just as the idea of being parents (and the baby being born during his deployment) started feeling more real, we miscarried. It was COMPLETELY heart wrenching. Looking for the positive became so hard, but looking back, I feel so lucky that DH was home while we went through that emotional torture. My DH was there to support me, hold me, tell me it would be ok and shower me with unyielding love. I never was happier to have someone to be there solely for me. It was selfish, but he really helped me carry that cross. It was what I always yearned for as a single woman and my heart is just so full now even thinking about that painful journey.
This is longer than I thought......I will earmark until a later date!
There are two big parts of my life as it currently rolls, and that's being a wife and a military spouse. Both are big changes from what I was used to! Might as well introduce you to the man who changed my whole life, right? DH and I met on September 11, 2012 on none other than match.com. There were A LOT of bad dates I had to endure before I finally met the one. Both from online dating and just regular life (you know, blind dates, speed dating, etc...) I knew things with him were different pretty early on - we endured hurricane Sandy together and the way he treated me, took care of me, was so aware and in tune to my fears and really went over and above what I would expect out of a new relationship. No wonder he is still around! He treats me with the same respect, genuine concern and love that he did when we first met and started dating.
So the story he tells of when he "fell in love"with me was Christmas 2012. He was working ovenights at his job at the time and had to work Christmas eve AND Christmas day! How awful...he claims the money was worth it, but the jury is still out on that one. Since he was working (he worked at the airport) all night, I wasn't going to miss my chance to have a Christmas dinner with my new beau. So I cooked up pounds and pounds of chicken legs, vegetables and baked easily 4 dozen cookies of all variety types and sizes. I packed up place settings of glass dishes, silverware and placemats and headed to meet him for dinner. There we sat, in baggage claim outside Dunkin Donuts, having our Christmas dinner. That is when he said he knew I was a keeper!
We had only been dating 3 months at that point, but in January 2013 he bought a ring. He worked millions of hours and I had no idea why. He set a goal to pay the ring off before he talked to my Dad. How sweet! So March 8, 2013 he proposed to me! The timing was crazy because at about 9am March 9th I headed to a 10 day vacation in Hawaii I had booked with one of my girlfriends. (Side note: the trip was booked because we weren't going to wait for Mr. Right......I booked it 3 weeks before I met DH).
Once back from Hawaii, we went high gear planning for the wedding! We did precana and all our marriage prep and managed to pull of an October wedding. What a whirlwind! We knew eachother for 13 months on the day of our wedding. And here we are, in year 2 of our marriage. I always wanted to be a wife and mother. So far, the wife part is going great! I miss him a lot more then I thought was imaginable. I am so immensely proud of him serving our country and keeping us safe so I can sit here and blog while he is working in some desert.
We started NaPro and Creighton Model charting before we were married. It's been an up and down roller coaster going through trying to conceive, and now even adding the deployment. We tried up until the last minute that we could. We were almost there....In the fall we found we had a positive home pregnancy test. For 6 weeks I was a mom to a perfect little angel. Just as the idea of being parents (and the baby being born during his deployment) started feeling more real, we miscarried. It was COMPLETELY heart wrenching. Looking for the positive became so hard, but looking back, I feel so lucky that DH was home while we went through that emotional torture. My DH was there to support me, hold me, tell me it would be ok and shower me with unyielding love. I never was happier to have someone to be there solely for me. It was selfish, but he really helped me carry that cross. It was what I always yearned for as a single woman and my heart is just so full now even thinking about that painful journey.
This is longer than I thought......I will earmark until a later date!
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Starting out
Making a first post is the best way to start a blog, I guess? Things in my life are crazy, but I figure as I write, something will always bubble to the top to talk about.
A little about me, so you know whose blog you are reading. My present life lends me to being a military wife. My wonderful husband and I have been married for just over a year. While he presently is serving our country, I find myself lost mostly in how much my heart aches to be in his arms! He is a reservist, which means he has been home with me aside from drill weekends and the all too often schools, training and qualification achievements. This will be our first deployment together, and my first one all together! It is definitely an adjustment to go back to a "single" mindset when it comes to taking care of things around the house.
When I'm not missing my DH I am left to ponder our ongoing fertility issues. We want so badly to be parents, and it just didn't seem to happen (yet?). We found out we were pregnant just at our first anniversary, but we lost the baby at just 6 weeks. We thought we would have another chance to try over Christmas when I saw him for a few days. A very large part of who I am is a Roman Catholic. Some will think it's old fashioned or there are too many rules, but I find there is so much that it offers to me. It has helped me through some rough times! So I have praying like a mad-woman that we will have our own "Miracle".
We weren't successful over Christmas, which just broke my heart. Who knows if we will have another chance before he actually deploys out of the country....
I think this is a good place to start, I hope this ends up being a positive thing for me, and maybe even someone else!
A little about me, so you know whose blog you are reading. My present life lends me to being a military wife. My wonderful husband and I have been married for just over a year. While he presently is serving our country, I find myself lost mostly in how much my heart aches to be in his arms! He is a reservist, which means he has been home with me aside from drill weekends and the all too often schools, training and qualification achievements. This will be our first deployment together, and my first one all together! It is definitely an adjustment to go back to a "single" mindset when it comes to taking care of things around the house.
When I'm not missing my DH I am left to ponder our ongoing fertility issues. We want so badly to be parents, and it just didn't seem to happen (yet?). We found out we were pregnant just at our first anniversary, but we lost the baby at just 6 weeks. We thought we would have another chance to try over Christmas when I saw him for a few days. A very large part of who I am is a Roman Catholic. Some will think it's old fashioned or there are too many rules, but I find there is so much that it offers to me. It has helped me through some rough times! So I have praying like a mad-woman that we will have our own "Miracle".
We weren't successful over Christmas, which just broke my heart. Who knows if we will have another chance before he actually deploys out of the country....
I think this is a good place to start, I hope this ends up being a positive thing for me, and maybe even someone else!
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