A new reality

So it's not quite new, but it's not old, but it's the now and it's not forever. So let's just go with new-ish. My routine was just starting to settle in... and by routine I of course mean keeping myself so insanely busy that I don't have even a minute to think about what is actually happening in my head! I mentioned in my last post that I called the NaPro doc as soon as I got back from Cali after sending DH on his way overseas. That is just in a lull right now. Waiting on insurance, which we all know can take some time..

In the meantime, I have scheduled dinners, and outings and meetings and made plans with everyone I can think of. DH is in a motorcycle club, which I was at first resistant to, but have since warmed up to very much! I adore the women in the club and the good hearts of these "motorcycle" guys never ceases to amaze me. They are made up of all veterans, army, navy, air force, marines, police, fire fighters, the list goes on and on. They are the most generous souls and some of the kindest men I have ever met in my life. The fact that I get along with the women in the club is just an enormous bonus! So they run a fundraiser every year, so I'm pushing to throw myself into that to not only help the club, but also to distract and to give back.

Something I have learned over my 34 years on this globe is that when things in my life get crummy, things seem more hopeful if I can come out of myself and serve others. Somewhere along my journey I heard a quote - I googled it to make sure I got it right!

“The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes

When you can give someone else assistance, or hope, or a helping hand or even a smile - what a great feeling. Keeping my heart in shape is important. I need to make sure it stays strong for not only me, but so I can continue to life DH burden - after all, I'm not the only one separated from their spouse! I got a call at 1:30am today from him telling me that it will be a while before he can call or contact me again. One of the worst calls to get as a military spouse - yet one of the best, because it was a heads up. Now I operate off the "no news is good news" mantra! I will focus on a weekly e-mail full of uplifting stories of how I'm keeping busy and seeing my friends, both of our families and relay entertaining stories and pictures to him. I don't want him to have an image of me sitting at home with piles of tissues around me wallowing in his absence!

There's a picture of us I keep on my desk at work. It was taken just a few weeks after we started dating, which we coincidentally used as our engagement announcement picture. I'd love to show it to you, but he is very cautious about information and pictures on the internet. The leaves are bright and bold with fall colors, he is looking at me and smiling with the most genuine smile while his arm is around me. It looks so natural. And we had only been dating for a few weeks! I hold on to the fact that we came together so easily and quickly. I hope the home adjustment is just as easy and quick! I'll try not to borrow sorrow from tomorrow - haha 

Great to meetcha....

So I found myself with some extra time - I have a lot of that these days. I thought I would introduce you a little more to my life.

There are two big parts of my life as it currently rolls, and that's being a wife and a military spouse. Both are big changes from what I was used to! Might as well introduce you to the man who changed my whole life, right? DH and I met on September 11, 2012 on none other than match.com. There were A LOT of bad dates I had to endure before I finally met the one. Both from online dating and just regular life (you know, blind dates, speed dating, etc...) I knew things with him were different pretty early on - we endured hurricane Sandy together and the way he treated me, took care of me, was so aware and in tune to my fears and really went over and above what I would expect out of a new relationship. No wonder he is still around! He treats me with the same respect, genuine concern and love that he did when we first met and started dating.

So the story he tells of when he "fell in love"with me was Christmas 2012. He was working ovenights at his job at the time and had to work Christmas eve AND Christmas day! How awful...he claims the money was worth it, but the jury is still out on that one. Since he was working (he worked at the airport) all night, I wasn't going to miss my chance to have a Christmas dinner with my new beau. So I cooked up pounds and pounds of chicken legs, vegetables and baked easily 4 dozen cookies of all variety types and sizes. I packed up place settings of glass dishes, silverware and placemats and headed to meet him for dinner. There we sat, in baggage claim outside Dunkin Donuts, having our Christmas dinner. That is when he said he knew I was a keeper!

We had only been dating 3 months at that point, but in January 2013 he bought a ring. He worked millions of hours and I had no idea why. He set a goal to pay the ring off before he talked to my Dad. How sweet! So March 8, 2013 he proposed to me! The timing was crazy because at about 9am March 9th I headed to a 10 day vacation in Hawaii I had booked with one of my girlfriends. (Side note: the trip was booked because we weren't going to wait for Mr. Right......I booked it 3 weeks before I met DH).

Once back from Hawaii, we went high gear planning for the wedding! We did precana and all our marriage prep and managed to pull of an October wedding. What a whirlwind! We knew eachother for 13 months on the day of our wedding. And here we are, in year 2 of our marriage. I always wanted to be a wife and mother. So far, the wife part is going great! I miss him a lot more then I thought was imaginable. I am so immensely proud of him serving our country and keeping us safe so I can sit here and blog while he is working in some desert.

We started NaPro and Creighton Model charting before we were married. It's been an up and down roller coaster going through trying to conceive, and now even adding the deployment. We tried up until the last minute that we could. We were almost there....In the fall we found we had a positive home pregnancy test. For 6 weeks I was a mom to a perfect little angel. Just as the idea of being parents (and the baby being born during his deployment) started feeling more real, we miscarried. It was COMPLETELY heart wrenching. Looking for the positive became so hard, but looking back, I feel so lucky that DH was home while we went through that emotional torture. My DH was there to support me, hold me, tell me it would be ok and shower me with unyielding love. I never was happier to have someone to be there solely for me. It was selfish, but he really helped me carry that cross. It was what I always yearned for as a single woman and my heart is just so full now even thinking about that painful journey.

This is longer than I thought......I will earmark until a later date!